Oh my... where do i begin...my heart is heavy and I cannot sleep. I feel like I MUST write or I will not sleep. So... here goes....
I had a great day with my kids today...a much needed day of distraction, because it is hard for me to think that i can go on living each day as i would normally. I'll explain, but let me continue for a moment...I have four kids here with me now, and one that lives in Ghana. One that I have labored, very literally for over the last year, to bring here. We have been in proactive mode. Basically, over the last year, we have been in "what do we need to do to get Stephen here" mode. And we have worked. hard. Steve has pulled 12 hour and a few times 15 hour shifts. Back in September when i hurt my shoulder so badly, he picked up my work at Fedex and hasn't quit. So, Steve is working a full time job, continuing the part time job with Fedex, and considering finding a part time job on the weekends. I work several part time jobs. One at Fedex, one at Cooks on Main, a weekly paper delivery with my boys, and a cleaning job with Montana. The reason I'm sharing that with you is to let you know that we have "labored" for the cause and sole purpose of bringing Stephen home to us....Most days I feel very much like either sleeping or crying. I'm tired. Literally. Figuratively. Emotionally. Mentally. Physically. Tired.
We got a letter from the USCIS. It wasn't pretty. Let me just say that I don't like getting mail that is on pink paper. Let alone 5 pages of it. Basically, they listed all the shortcomings of our submission of our I-600 ( you remember from my last post that the I-600 is the document we file with the US government to obtain permission to get Stephen), and which we kinda expected...since we haven't gone about things in the usual way or through an adoption agency, but what we got was not what we expected....
One of the things has to do with our home study done here in the U.S. which I will be calling about on this Tuesday (since Monday is a holiday). That one, I'm pretty sure can be rectified pretty quickly. The next thing though...was tough to take. It was titled, Evaluation of Adequate Finances Missing. Here let me share one sentence with you...."Your current income does not appear to meet the Department of Health and Human Services' (HHS) minimum poverty guidelines for the requested number of children." I'm not sure I can adequately put into words what that did to the inside of me. Part of that is due to the fact that we had been in the U.S. just over a year and were not able to submit any tax returns for the work that had been done here in Williston, and part of that has to do with our debt... and part of that...is... well...true. I felt like my soul got either sucker-punched or the breath knocked out of me, or just taken and me trying to grasp anything that was left. The reality of us living below the minimum poverty line was stark and harsh. I'm not sure even where to go with that....What if we can't get Stephen because we don't make enough? And WHY IN THE WORLD DOES THAT EVEN MATTER?!!! If we can provide food in some one's belly, clothing on their back, and shelter over their head...isn't that enough??!! I felt like we were not enough...that's what I felt....The reason we came back to the States is because we couldn't keep making it. Steve was unable to find work in Ghana and things needed to change for us. We came back so that we could support ourselves independently and get in a better position financially, so that we could live responsibly and take care of matters that we had gotten ourselves into. And we have, but apparently one year of that...or rather less than a year of that..doesn't look so hot on paper. I'll get to the solution at the end...but for now...I'm going to continue with problems/challenges we now face. The next has to do the definition of an orphan...because our paperwork says that Stephen's mother Linda was willing to relinquish all rights towards Stephen so that Steve and I could adopt him does not qualify him as an orphan. There is so much in this part....it is hard for me to go into...what it comes down to is that USCIS does not know our story. They're just looking at the facts. Those are what the facts say. We need to submit more facts for them to get the whole picture. Hiring an attorney to help us navigate through all the legalities should be a big help as well.
I got that letter Friday night after coming home from work. I began to read it and i just wanted to cry or throw up or both. I think it was the closest I've ever felt despair. How could i keep living each day as i normally would when it seems like my world is crashing in? How would i keep going on when it seems like everything we have worked for has been for nothing?
And then I texted Steve...it was close to time for him to get off work anyways...this was just something that I couldn't bear alone. Do you know what he said when I was all a mess??...and couldn't even speak coherently??...He told me we would fight this. That we would get an adoption lawyer...and that we would do everything we could. He is my rock in this raging sea. He has a steady course and can see the way that we will go...when I can't see past the tears. HE. HAS. ALWAYS. BEEN. LIKE. THIS. It is who he is. Sometimes I get frustrated with him about his seemingly having "one speed" as i call it....but the man stays the course, he is faithful, and he is determined. Now, let me make this clear...he is not THE rock, but he is a rock to me. and... if Jesus is THE rock, and we're supposed to be like Him...then Steve is doing a pretty good job in that department.
So....our solution. Fight. We are no longer in plan mode. We are no longer in "just do what we got to do" mode. We are in full battle array. People, we are going to pray...we are going to work, and be ready for battle...we are going to stand and stand up for ourselves....
We are going to fight in prayer and we are going to work to get what we need done. We have 84 days to make that happen. That's the time line we were given. Please, I beg you, pray for us. Pray for health and stamina for Steve and I. Pray for us to get just the right adoption lawyer. Pray for Stephen that he can understand and be patient yet a while longer. Pray for my kids here, that they would understand and forgive their mother for her shortcomings and emotionalness (is that even a word?!) during this trying time as I'm afraid they often get the short end of the deal. Pray that we WILL see a happy end to all of this. And pray that the Lord would return, for THAT would be very much better!
Saturday, February 13, 2016
Thursday, January 7, 2016
I CAN HARDLY WAIT!!
Yesterday, was as many of you may already know, Stephen's birthday. He turned 14. This was very bittersweet for me, in fact more bitter than sweet because last year I had told him that he would be with us for this year's :-( I truly thought he would be. But buying and setting up house and running through all the prerequirements (the home study mainly, but that would include background checks, personality studies, doctors examinations, getting of birth certificates for Steve and I, and of course the means to take care of all those things) well took WAY LONGER than I had any idea of...I have regressed...well.... We'll have a SMASHING big party when he does get here!! Which I am really hoping will be sooner than later.
So here is where things are at...we were finally able to submit EVERYTHING to the USCIS (United States Citizen and Immigration Services). AND we got a letter just two days ago that said they had received it. YAY!!!! Now we are waiting to hear from them about our FBI background check appointment which we believe will require a trip to Rapid City, South Dakota. After we do that...I'm not quite sure what....more waiting....I think ....until we get the go ahead. All of this has been HUGE. I can't even begin to tell you how this has affected me. I've broken down more than a few times. It just seems to be taking so long...and I know that what we're doing is nothing compared to what others have gone through. So...I have started to buy some things for Stephen...I have his airplane outfit :-). When I've needed to get things for the kids for school....we get it for Stephen. I've been scouring eBay for some shoes for him...something comfortable, easy to take on and off for the plane...etc...It has helped. I think I've put most of my emotions in some box in my brain so that I don't have to think about it, and on occasion something happens and they all come pouring out. Like my brother being happy to see Stephen wear the Olsen racing shirt yesterday on his birthday...a flood of tears. And right now...just remembering that...
Moving on....so what will happen when we go to Ghana? I'm not completely sure...BUT I know a visit to the U.S. Consulate/Embassy will be in order. There will be an interview for us to get an immigrant visa for Stephen. There may need to be a doctors examination done at a hospital in Accra to see if Stephen is healthy. There will be excitement as we go to get a plane ticket for him at the airport. And there will likely be more waiting...as we seem to be doing a lot of that....there will be happiness for me to see everyone again in Ghana, there will be some shopping for me to get some things that I can only get in Ghana, there will be some eating of some VERY delicious foods that I can only have in Ghana, and there will be tears, lots of tears, as we leave. Definitely from me and likely from Stephen too...and that will be ok. We will get to share that together. I really can HARDLY wait to go on his first plane ride with him. Or watch his amazement as we go through one of the international airports either in London or more likely Amsterdam. I can HARDLY wait till I get to bring him through immigration in Minneapolis and when they stamp his passport knowing that will be the end of this huge long process. I can HARDLY wait to board that last plane from Minneapolis to Minot knowing that our crew is already on their way there. I can HARDLY wait to get off the plane with him and see the looks on Steve's and the kids' faces as they spy us coming towards them.
I CAN HARDLY WAIT!!!
But....there is waiting...and in the meantime what will be doing? Praying and pressing on to make this all possible. I just had a thought...shouldn't we be waiting for the King of Glory like this? I think I will save those thoughts for another blog post... :-). Please keep praying for us, for Stephen, for the Boatengs who have been caring for him in our absence, and for the waiting to not take so long.
So here is where things are at...we were finally able to submit EVERYTHING to the USCIS (United States Citizen and Immigration Services). AND we got a letter just two days ago that said they had received it. YAY!!!! Now we are waiting to hear from them about our FBI background check appointment which we believe will require a trip to Rapid City, South Dakota. After we do that...I'm not quite sure what....more waiting....I think ....until we get the go ahead. All of this has been HUGE. I can't even begin to tell you how this has affected me. I've broken down more than a few times. It just seems to be taking so long...and I know that what we're doing is nothing compared to what others have gone through. So...I have started to buy some things for Stephen...I have his airplane outfit :-). When I've needed to get things for the kids for school....we get it for Stephen. I've been scouring eBay for some shoes for him...something comfortable, easy to take on and off for the plane...etc...It has helped. I think I've put most of my emotions in some box in my brain so that I don't have to think about it, and on occasion something happens and they all come pouring out. Like my brother being happy to see Stephen wear the Olsen racing shirt yesterday on his birthday...a flood of tears. And right now...just remembering that...
Moving on....so what will happen when we go to Ghana? I'm not completely sure...BUT I know a visit to the U.S. Consulate/Embassy will be in order. There will be an interview for us to get an immigrant visa for Stephen. There may need to be a doctors examination done at a hospital in Accra to see if Stephen is healthy. There will be excitement as we go to get a plane ticket for him at the airport. And there will likely be more waiting...as we seem to be doing a lot of that....there will be happiness for me to see everyone again in Ghana, there will be some shopping for me to get some things that I can only get in Ghana, there will be some eating of some VERY delicious foods that I can only have in Ghana, and there will be tears, lots of tears, as we leave. Definitely from me and likely from Stephen too...and that will be ok. We will get to share that together. I really can HARDLY wait to go on his first plane ride with him. Or watch his amazement as we go through one of the international airports either in London or more likely Amsterdam. I can HARDLY wait till I get to bring him through immigration in Minneapolis and when they stamp his passport knowing that will be the end of this huge long process. I can HARDLY wait to board that last plane from Minneapolis to Minot knowing that our crew is already on their way there. I can HARDLY wait to get off the plane with him and see the looks on Steve's and the kids' faces as they spy us coming towards them.
I CAN HARDLY WAIT!!!
But....there is waiting...and in the meantime what will be doing? Praying and pressing on to make this all possible. I just had a thought...shouldn't we be waiting for the King of Glory like this? I think I will save those thoughts for another blog post... :-). Please keep praying for us, for Stephen, for the Boatengs who have been caring for him in our absence, and for the waiting to not take so long.
Thursday, October 15, 2015
A little help from my friends
I am not sure why a night of of insomnia inspires me to write but it does....If I could make a guess, I would say that AT LEAST half of my blog posts were/are written between the hours of 3am and 5am. It's not like my mind is racing...actually it usually is because of a migraine....Hmmm....I've digressed. LOL!
So let me tell you about my last two weeks....Almost two weeks ago, i woke up with SEVERE tendinitis in my right shoulder. I did not know that at the time. I mean I seriously thought my shoulder was broke AND dislocated. I've had both happen in that shoulder, so trust me, I KNOW what that feels like!! I didn't go to sleep like that and had NO IDEA what I did to make it feel that way. I got through the morning assembly with the church on 6 Advil. The evening assembly i took 3 Aleve and brought a heating pad with me. ( i know, i know....should've gone for ice....but i couldn't stand the thought of shivering and heat sounded SO much nicer, more comfortable....and it was) I took a prescribed narcotic (did you hear that??? did you get that??? a PRESCRIBED NARCOTIC!!!! that's just crazy stuff right there!) to just get to sleep for three nights in a row!!! The point here is that I was in so much pain i could think of nothing else. All I wanted was to make it go away. Have you been like that? It's awful!! Truly!! (Amy, if you every wonder if you have had an influence on me...just take note of ALL the capitalized words! ;-) Love ya!)
Now, anyone who knows me pretty well, will know that I way prefer to treat myself and my family with alternative and holistic ways. So, taking that much medication....even breaking to the point of taking a narcotic was HUGE!!!!!! The Dr put me on a strong anti-inflammatory and a muscle relaxant. I was such in a fog for three days, all I did was camp out on the couch and be a grouch (also thanks to the meds... and well, likely the pain too). Did anyone notice that i went to the Dr??
Then on Tuesday, a friend asked me if i had been to the chiropractor. She said she did something to her shoulder and had gone to a chiropractor and got instant relief. OH YEAH!!! I love chirorpractors!! Unfortunately, she was unable to do anything for me. Wouldn't even touch it due to the extreme restricted mobility of my arm, but was still able to adjust the rest of me, Whew! Then Steve and I got to talking and he started asking what Shaklee supplements i could take, and what oils could i use??? OH YEAH!!! I love Shaklee!!! And I'm really beginning to like DoTerra essential oils!!
I was in SO MUCH PAIN that i could not think about what i could do or what I should do to help myself. Again, all i wanted was the pain gone!! I didn't care how. And here, this is the impetus of this blog post....I couldn't think for myself what i would like to do or how i would like things dealt with. I needed outside input from my friends! And in case you didn't put it together, Steve is my best friend :-) I needed someone, or a couple someones in my case, to remind me what I wanted.
And then i got to thinking...there is a spiritual lesson here...Sometimes we can get ourselves into painful situations, or maybe those painful situations come to us....whatever the case, maybe we need someone from outside to remind us of who we are, or how we want to deal with things. Or maybe...this is a greater possibility...we need to be that friend. That friend to remind someone of who they are when everything is crashing down. That friend who reminds them that they are loved by us and loved even more by the Creator and Savior of the Universe. Or rather, maybe we need to be the one who enters into someones life when they are in pain from the sin in their life and give them hope and way out.
I needed to hear about that chiropractor. I needed to think about what Shaklee and oils could do for me. I needed the options that i wanted anyway, but couldn't think of them for myself. Let's do that. Let's do that for others. Let's give the options to help others out of their sin, out of their pain. Let's be true friends. Let's pray that the response is much like mine.... OH YEAH!!!
*And my story ends well, too...Tuesday night i started taking my Shaklee stuff again (i had just forgotten in my pain) and Wednesday things started getting better. I made special orders for more things to take... both oils and supplements.. and they are working! My mobility is increasing every day, and the pain is gone. ...and I'm really hoping by Monday(two weeks after it all first started) to be back at work!
So let me tell you about my last two weeks....Almost two weeks ago, i woke up with SEVERE tendinitis in my right shoulder. I did not know that at the time. I mean I seriously thought my shoulder was broke AND dislocated. I've had both happen in that shoulder, so trust me, I KNOW what that feels like!! I didn't go to sleep like that and had NO IDEA what I did to make it feel that way. I got through the morning assembly with the church on 6 Advil. The evening assembly i took 3 Aleve and brought a heating pad with me. ( i know, i know....should've gone for ice....but i couldn't stand the thought of shivering and heat sounded SO much nicer, more comfortable....and it was) I took a prescribed narcotic (did you hear that??? did you get that??? a PRESCRIBED NARCOTIC!!!! that's just crazy stuff right there!) to just get to sleep for three nights in a row!!! The point here is that I was in so much pain i could think of nothing else. All I wanted was to make it go away. Have you been like that? It's awful!! Truly!! (Amy, if you every wonder if you have had an influence on me...just take note of ALL the capitalized words! ;-) Love ya!)
Now, anyone who knows me pretty well, will know that I way prefer to treat myself and my family with alternative and holistic ways. So, taking that much medication....even breaking to the point of taking a narcotic was HUGE!!!!!! The Dr put me on a strong anti-inflammatory and a muscle relaxant. I was such in a fog for three days, all I did was camp out on the couch and be a grouch (also thanks to the meds... and well, likely the pain too). Did anyone notice that i went to the Dr??
Then on Tuesday, a friend asked me if i had been to the chiropractor. She said she did something to her shoulder and had gone to a chiropractor and got instant relief. OH YEAH!!! I love chirorpractors!! Unfortunately, she was unable to do anything for me. Wouldn't even touch it due to the extreme restricted mobility of my arm, but was still able to adjust the rest of me, Whew! Then Steve and I got to talking and he started asking what Shaklee supplements i could take, and what oils could i use??? OH YEAH!!! I love Shaklee!!! And I'm really beginning to like DoTerra essential oils!!
I was in SO MUCH PAIN that i could not think about what i could do or what I should do to help myself. Again, all i wanted was the pain gone!! I didn't care how. And here, this is the impetus of this blog post....I couldn't think for myself what i would like to do or how i would like things dealt with. I needed outside input from my friends! And in case you didn't put it together, Steve is my best friend :-) I needed someone, or a couple someones in my case, to remind me what I wanted.
And then i got to thinking...there is a spiritual lesson here...Sometimes we can get ourselves into painful situations, or maybe those painful situations come to us....whatever the case, maybe we need someone from outside to remind us of who we are, or how we want to deal with things. Or maybe...this is a greater possibility...we need to be that friend. That friend to remind someone of who they are when everything is crashing down. That friend who reminds them that they are loved by us and loved even more by the Creator and Savior of the Universe. Or rather, maybe we need to be the one who enters into someones life when they are in pain from the sin in their life and give them hope and way out.
I needed to hear about that chiropractor. I needed to think about what Shaklee and oils could do for me. I needed the options that i wanted anyway, but couldn't think of them for myself. Let's do that. Let's do that for others. Let's give the options to help others out of their sin, out of their pain. Let's be true friends. Let's pray that the response is much like mine.... OH YEAH!!!
*And my story ends well, too...Tuesday night i started taking my Shaklee stuff again (i had just forgotten in my pain) and Wednesday things started getting better. I made special orders for more things to take... both oils and supplements.. and they are working! My mobility is increasing every day, and the pain is gone. ...and I'm really hoping by Monday(two weeks after it all first started) to be back at work!
Thursday, August 27, 2015
An Adoption Update
Hey all!
So, this is the first time i've written anything for way too long!! I thought that since this was going to be longer i should just write a blog post...nothing more annoying than an crazy long Facebook post! At least when you clicked on the link you were committing to reading it. ;-)
Let me get you all up to speed...Last summer when faced with having to leave Ghana. We, as a family, decided that we would try and adopt Stephen Karikari. We didn't even know if we could...Every step along the way in Ghana was quite a resounding, YES!! It really was AMAZING to see God's hand guiding that whole thing and the SPEED at which things moved. If any of you have ever been to Ghana you would understand that the quickness with which the Social Welfare (a government office) was really more than Extraordinary!!! A God thing, really! When we contacted the USCIS (United States department of Citizenship and Immigration Services) in Ghana they basically told us we would have to follow protocol and nothing could be expedited. With our visas expiring the end of August 2014, we made the tough decision of leaving Stephen with the Boatengs, heading back to America to finish the U.S. paper work side of things. That would mean finding jobs, finding a place to live, setting up house (we came and had only the suitcases we brought with us from Ghana), and beginning the adoption process here. That is what we have done.
Now some of you may be wondering what it takes to get the adoption process going or what we have done. Let me fill you in. :-) First you have to fill out an application...this is no one or two page application...pretty sure the application itself (that we filed with the agency we are working through) was about 10-12 pages long that needed extensive information about our families (close and extended), our references, ourselves, our financial matters, our work history, our personal info, etc....with that application we also filed autobiographies...that was also another 12-15 pages of questions, a LOT of questions that required much more than just one or two word answers....i worked on that part every day for a week...took a break...and then worked on then really had to write an autobiography of my life to date....i don't know how long that took....longer than i wanted. then we had to wait for the references that we listed to be mailed a questionnaire, respond to that, and mail it back. We also had to have medical check-ups...for the entire family. Then we had to do FBI background checks...did you all know that they do digital fingerprinting now??? It makes sense with all the technology we have. Then we had to do a personality test. Then we were finally able to start the home study part ( a process made up of 3 interviews). Pretty much every step we've done has had a cost, the application, the background checks, the doctor's visits, the personality tests, the home study interviews...we've put out a chunk so far and we're not done...
So where does that leave us now...here is what we have left to do to complete the adoption agency we are working through requirements. These must be completed BEFORE we can file with the USCIS. We must take online adoptive parenting classes. There are five of them. We must get a few paperwork items to the agency, and we must finish paying for the home study part. Our last interview is the middle of September. Then when we get the home study report from the agency...THEN we can finally file with the USCIS. What does that mean? That means another application, another FBI background check, submitting the home study report, and any and all accompanying paperwork. I honestly haven't looked at everything for the USCIS for about 6 months, it just seemed like such a huge task, that i've had to break it down basically to what do i need to do this week...or more often...what do i need to do today?
After we submit things to the USCIS, and everything is approved...then we can go get Stephen!!! But what does that mean?? That will mean plane tickets and planning...that will mean a visit to the capital Accra to visit the embassy to get a visa for Stephen so that he can travel. Then when he has a visa....THEN WE CAN COME HOME!!!! I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO TAKE STEPHEN ON HIS FIRST FLIGHT!!!!!!! I can hardly wait for all the firsts that will come on that trip! For all the firsts that will happen when he gets here! For the JOY that our family will have being all together again!!! It is hard for me to think about that as it brings up so much emotion...
What you can pray for... Pray that things will continue to progress as they have the last month so that we can get Stephen by the end of the year...SOONER if possible!!! Pray that Stephen has his passport....pray that we will be able to keep up with the financial needs as they come up.....Pray for Stephen that he feels like he is not forgotten (he isn't, but it has been TOO LONG)....pray for his transition to life here....
So i think this is about as condensed as it gets writing out the adoption process and what we've done, been through, continue to go through, and what we have to look forward to doing. Our love to all!!
So, this is the first time i've written anything for way too long!! I thought that since this was going to be longer i should just write a blog post...nothing more annoying than an crazy long Facebook post! At least when you clicked on the link you were committing to reading it. ;-)
Let me get you all up to speed...Last summer when faced with having to leave Ghana. We, as a family, decided that we would try and adopt Stephen Karikari. We didn't even know if we could...Every step along the way in Ghana was quite a resounding, YES!! It really was AMAZING to see God's hand guiding that whole thing and the SPEED at which things moved. If any of you have ever been to Ghana you would understand that the quickness with which the Social Welfare (a government office) was really more than Extraordinary!!! A God thing, really! When we contacted the USCIS (United States department of Citizenship and Immigration Services) in Ghana they basically told us we would have to follow protocol and nothing could be expedited. With our visas expiring the end of August 2014, we made the tough decision of leaving Stephen with the Boatengs, heading back to America to finish the U.S. paper work side of things. That would mean finding jobs, finding a place to live, setting up house (we came and had only the suitcases we brought with us from Ghana), and beginning the adoption process here. That is what we have done.
Now some of you may be wondering what it takes to get the adoption process going or what we have done. Let me fill you in. :-) First you have to fill out an application...this is no one or two page application...pretty sure the application itself (that we filed with the agency we are working through) was about 10-12 pages long that needed extensive information about our families (close and extended), our references, ourselves, our financial matters, our work history, our personal info, etc....with that application we also filed autobiographies...that was also another 12-15 pages of questions, a LOT of questions that required much more than just one or two word answers....i worked on that part every day for a week...took a break...and then worked on then really had to write an autobiography of my life to date....i don't know how long that took....longer than i wanted. then we had to wait for the references that we listed to be mailed a questionnaire, respond to that, and mail it back. We also had to have medical check-ups...for the entire family. Then we had to do FBI background checks...did you all know that they do digital fingerprinting now??? It makes sense with all the technology we have. Then we had to do a personality test. Then we were finally able to start the home study part ( a process made up of 3 interviews). Pretty much every step we've done has had a cost, the application, the background checks, the doctor's visits, the personality tests, the home study interviews...we've put out a chunk so far and we're not done...
So where does that leave us now...here is what we have left to do to complete the adoption agency we are working through requirements. These must be completed BEFORE we can file with the USCIS. We must take online adoptive parenting classes. There are five of them. We must get a few paperwork items to the agency, and we must finish paying for the home study part. Our last interview is the middle of September. Then when we get the home study report from the agency...THEN we can finally file with the USCIS. What does that mean? That means another application, another FBI background check, submitting the home study report, and any and all accompanying paperwork. I honestly haven't looked at everything for the USCIS for about 6 months, it just seemed like such a huge task, that i've had to break it down basically to what do i need to do this week...or more often...what do i need to do today?
After we submit things to the USCIS, and everything is approved...then we can go get Stephen!!! But what does that mean?? That will mean plane tickets and planning...that will mean a visit to the capital Accra to visit the embassy to get a visa for Stephen so that he can travel. Then when he has a visa....THEN WE CAN COME HOME!!!! I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO TAKE STEPHEN ON HIS FIRST FLIGHT!!!!!!! I can hardly wait for all the firsts that will come on that trip! For all the firsts that will happen when he gets here! For the JOY that our family will have being all together again!!! It is hard for me to think about that as it brings up so much emotion...
What you can pray for... Pray that things will continue to progress as they have the last month so that we can get Stephen by the end of the year...SOONER if possible!!! Pray that Stephen has his passport....pray that we will be able to keep up with the financial needs as they come up.....Pray for Stephen that he feels like he is not forgotten (he isn't, but it has been TOO LONG)....pray for his transition to life here....
So i think this is about as condensed as it gets writing out the adoption process and what we've done, been through, continue to go through, and what we have to look forward to doing. Our love to all!!
Monday, December 29, 2014
It's time
So, i was thinking that i should write another blogpost over the holiday weekend....but here it is Monday...and well...i almost made it. LOL!!
So much to catch up on, I'm not sure where to start. I'll start with my job. Yep. I joined the ranks of those paying taxes from the labor of their hands. (Which I do need to change my deductions for that because as it is setup now...i have NONE. I have no desire to give uncle Sam anymore than i have to.) I started working at Fedex a week and half before Thanksgiving....which also coincided with Fedex's busiest time of the year. Sore....sore....SORE!!! I was so sore, i have been so sore that i seriously could hardly move! The guy who trained me told me that i was going to be sore for the first week or so....THAT was an understatement! Let me tell you though...that i really enjoy my job. i like that it starts way early and that I am done by the time my kids are up, eating breakfast, and starting school. It means that I can listen to Indie read her Science and Social Studies....it means that i can help Corban out with his English...Montana with her Math (yep! Math!!!!) and Jachin with his English and math flash cards. Now, granted we are still in the process of working out a good routine...but I'm thankful, truly thankful that my job at Fedex still allows me that precious time with my kids.
About Stephen....i bet you are all wondering where that is at. I had sincerely hoped that he would be with us by this time. He's not and won't be for a while longer....we have had to find housing first. we have been homeless since we left Ghana...now, that does not mean that we haven't had a place to stay. Many loving friends and family in the church have taken us in at various times in the past 3 months for which we are truly grateful. I'm especially thankful for the Parsleys in Connersville, the Harbours in Wauseon, the Nichols in Oklahoma City, and the Fergusons here in Williston, and for all those that I have missed. Finding a place of our own is what has caused the delay and we hope to have that rectified within the next month or so. Moving is just so hard...whether it be picking up and moving across town, the country, or the globe...and trying to manage an adoption in the mix of that....well....it gets a little hairy. We need an address, and then we can begin all of the paperwork on this side of the ocean. I'm very thankful that he is with a good family in Ghana while he waits for us to get everything together. Please pray for him and the family he's staying with...the Boatengs. Stephen turns 13 on January 6!
Time is quickly slipping away again since we started school back up. The days just seem to run together. I'm glad for it...glad as i hope that it will help the winter to pass all the quicker. Time just seems to be such a precious commodity....I look at Montana and think i only have a few more years with her....then i look at Indie and am glad i have a bit more time with her yet. My boys talk about what they can do to make money....and i just wish we could slow down a bit. the days slip easily enough away...and i grow more sensitive about making sure i make the most of my time. I know i have room for improvement in this...i just pray, Lord, help me to count my days that I may build wisely. May I be the kind of woman that is faithful with her time.
So much to catch up on, I'm not sure where to start. I'll start with my job. Yep. I joined the ranks of those paying taxes from the labor of their hands. (Which I do need to change my deductions for that because as it is setup now...i have NONE. I have no desire to give uncle Sam anymore than i have to.) I started working at Fedex a week and half before Thanksgiving....which also coincided with Fedex's busiest time of the year. Sore....sore....SORE!!! I was so sore, i have been so sore that i seriously could hardly move! The guy who trained me told me that i was going to be sore for the first week or so....THAT was an understatement! Let me tell you though...that i really enjoy my job. i like that it starts way early and that I am done by the time my kids are up, eating breakfast, and starting school. It means that I can listen to Indie read her Science and Social Studies....it means that i can help Corban out with his English...Montana with her Math (yep! Math!!!!) and Jachin with his English and math flash cards. Now, granted we are still in the process of working out a good routine...but I'm thankful, truly thankful that my job at Fedex still allows me that precious time with my kids.
About Stephen....i bet you are all wondering where that is at. I had sincerely hoped that he would be with us by this time. He's not and won't be for a while longer....we have had to find housing first. we have been homeless since we left Ghana...now, that does not mean that we haven't had a place to stay. Many loving friends and family in the church have taken us in at various times in the past 3 months for which we are truly grateful. I'm especially thankful for the Parsleys in Connersville, the Harbours in Wauseon, the Nichols in Oklahoma City, and the Fergusons here in Williston, and for all those that I have missed. Finding a place of our own is what has caused the delay and we hope to have that rectified within the next month or so. Moving is just so hard...whether it be picking up and moving across town, the country, or the globe...and trying to manage an adoption in the mix of that....well....it gets a little hairy. We need an address, and then we can begin all of the paperwork on this side of the ocean. I'm very thankful that he is with a good family in Ghana while he waits for us to get everything together. Please pray for him and the family he's staying with...the Boatengs. Stephen turns 13 on January 6!
Time is quickly slipping away again since we started school back up. The days just seem to run together. I'm glad for it...glad as i hope that it will help the winter to pass all the quicker. Time just seems to be such a precious commodity....I look at Montana and think i only have a few more years with her....then i look at Indie and am glad i have a bit more time with her yet. My boys talk about what they can do to make money....and i just wish we could slow down a bit. the days slip easily enough away...and i grow more sensitive about making sure i make the most of my time. I know i have room for improvement in this...i just pray, Lord, help me to count my days that I may build wisely. May I be the kind of woman that is faithful with her time.
Saturday, July 12, 2014
Crossroads
When i was a kid, we used to eat at this cafe a lot. It was called Crossroads Cafe. It was at a Flying J truckstop years ago; I don't think it exists any longer. It's that kind of place now that i search out to eat at when we're travelling. It's a cafe :-) you have daily special and all the watiresses know your name, and even likely what you'll order. I always liked when we ended up there...it meant a grilled cheese or cheese burger with french fries and ranch dressing. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed Crossroads.
Here we are at life at another kind of crossroads. It seems I've had a few of those in my life. Haven't we all?! While I don't know if i enjoy them as much as the cafe by the same name...I think I should. At a crossroads, you get to reflect on your journey so far, assess where things are currently at, and then move on in one of many directions. We are moving on...literally. Hopefully, Lord-willing, we will all be back in the States.
A few of you may have known that I was planning on coming back to the U.S. for my brother's wedding in September. I was then going to work for two months to save up some money to help Steve get going with a business. You can read about that in my previous post (no, I didn't post that one on Facebook as it was written more for the ones who knew and wanted to know why). You see, when we came back to Ghana almost 2 years ago...we had a plan. Steve would find work here to be able to support our family. We would work with the church and school. His work would provide the way for us to stay here (residence permits). It was going to be great! But then we found out that the existing government really discourages foreign workers (some for good reasons, and some for not so good reasons). Steve explored the mining field, the development sector, and the non-profit sector. All of which came to nothing. It was discouraging. His fluent Twi abilities really meant nothing without a Master's degree or a Ghanaian wife (i offered to become one). Enter the first crossroads. Steve really had to sit down and think what could he do? What would he like/enjoy doing? The crazy man likes math. So he considered what he could do in that field. It came down to trading. He's checked it out. He's done his homework, he's been researching and paper trading, some, since last November. This is what he'd like to do, and why I was going to work and save for a couple of months so that he would have a small lump sum to begin. That was the plan. Up until a week and half ago.
Steve went to the immigration office to find out what we needed to do to renew our residence permits prior to my departure since they expire the end of August. We wanted to have that taken care of before I travelled. What he found is that the costs had increased and that we would also have to get alien registration cards (something that we haven't had before). The total cost was going to be very close to $1500. We did not have this kind of money. In fact, we have been juggling our budget every month to try and make ends meet, only to keep cutting back on our food budget more and more. Steve looked at what we had (nothing) and what it would take over the course of the next three months to cover the expenses (a year's worth of rent coming due in October) and we "could" do it if we cut our food back to $100/month. $100 is not reasonable or doable. What we saw is just that we couldn't continue on the path we were on.
Enter crossroads number two. So simply...we are moving back to the States. We are going to find jobs, and we are going to work. Work to be free from debt. Work to be free to do what we love, travel and encourage the saints. We are going to go where the job market is good and kind find work that will suit our skill sets. We have decided to join the Nichols family in Oklahoma City. Now, I will be the first to tell that never, EVER, in my life have I EVER wanted to live in "tornado alley". This is going to take a lot of prayer and trust, at least on my part, and it's going to be an adjustment for all of us. We are going to live and work close to the Nichols to find those who are looking for the hope and salvation that can only be found in the Gospel of Christ. Our focus will not merely to build up our financial house...but it will, even more importantly, be to build up the spiritual house of The Lord.
Of course there are other reasons and things that had to be considered as well. If you would like to know more, Steve or I would be happy to discuss them with you, once we get back to the U.S....or before if you live in Ghana. The next 30 days look to be filled with a lot of craziness. We have to sell most all of our possessions, and trim things down into suitcases to move across the Atlantic, yet again. We have the concern of housing when we get to OKC, and needing a vehicle to get to and from the job site(s). Trying to figure out how to get our dog to come with us...and seeing if we can adopt Stephen Karikari who has become as much a member of our family as any other. The latter is one that needs serious prayer. Stephen's mother is willing to give him up so that we can adopt him, but there is extended family and his biological father (that has had so very little to do with him), and those things carry more weight here than they would in the U.S.
So please, pray for us. Pray for wisdom for us as we move forward. Pray that we will have clarity of mind and thought to make the many, many decisions that need to be made in the next month before we leave.
You know...looking back on the last almost two years here. We have no regrets. We are SO VERY GLAD that we got to be reunited with those whom our souls love. So glad that we've had the opportunity to get closer as a family...to remember what the really important things in life are...to remember that the fast pace lifestyle isn't all what it's cracked up to be....to enjoy family nights again (we won't be giving that one up again!)...to grow up and learn and get a fresh perspective. Very thankful we are.
Just like I enjoyed eating at Crossroads as kid...I'm enjoying the crossroads in life, too. Something new, something challenging, something altogether different. With Christ in me, a spiritually minded man to lead me, super kids to love on and train, and amazing friends to work with...everything is AWESOME!!
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Why work?
Ok, so...this post is to help others who wonder why I'm going to work while back in the U.S.
First, we would have loved to come back as a family. We all really enjoy traveling together. It is always such an adventure for us! However, we couldn't. My brother got engaged last year and we knew the wedding was going to happen this year, and we just couldn't make a trip happen. In stepped my brother's fiancee. She offered, as a surprise gift to my brother for the wedding(which by the way, is no longer a surprise, it was a bit TOO BIG of surprise to keep secret), to pay for me to fly back for the wedding!!! I was beyond excited!! And how more perfect could it get that their wedding was going to be in Montana (they both live in Illinois) and just one week after MT family camp!! The timing is perfect!
Initially, i was just going to go back for three weeks. Just enough time to get adjusted to the time difference, enjoy family camp, and be able to be a help with all the preparations that needed to happen for the wedding. Then head back to Ghana.
But then...Steve and I got to talking. It has been rather difficult for Steve to find a job here. The current government does not look favorably on foreign workers and there are a lot of hoops one would have to jump through to get work here, and the companies hiring are not all that willing to go through the red tape in order to hire a foreign employee. He's looked into the mining field, the non-profit field, the development field...and nothing. He would have to do one of a couple of things. Go back to school and get a masters for the particular field he'd like to enter, or be willing to do volunteer work for a couple of years and then gradually move his way up the development ladder. Either of these would take a lot of money and relocating. Yet, his desire is to provide for us. So he started looking into stock market trading. He loves numbers. He gets all excited at these charts that he shows me. Trading like this does not take into consideration his age or past schooling, and he could get started in it right away. He's been looking into things since last November. Studying, researching, listening to podcasts and online videos have filled his free time. But now...he is looking at doing some actual trading, and well, honestly, that means some up front money that we don't have. This is where my working comes into play.
Would Steve prefer to go back to the U.S. and work an extra job to get the money? Yes. Is he at all delighted with the prospect of his wife working so that he can have the upfront lump sum that he'll need? No, he isn't. Let's look at things though. We won't have to come up with the funds for a ticket. That's been very generously being taken care of by my soon-to-be sister-in-law. I'm already going to be back there, I might as well take advantage of the opportunity. Here is how I look at it. I have an opportunity to show honor and respect to my husband by willingly working and making it possible for him to do the work that he desires to do so that he can provide for us, his family. He can't just go pick up a side job here. We don't have the funds to send him back and honestly if we all go back to the U.S. the living expenses would eat into the money we'd like to save and it would take longer.
In a nutshell, my working while being back this time is what needs to happen to move our family forward. This is about teamwork, and what each individual part can do for the advancement of the team. My individual part will, Lord-willing, be working this fall. So that Steve's individual part can be trading with it this winter. Both parts working for the team for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health till death do us part. I love and respect my husband for who he is and for what he desires to do. I'm willing to help him in whatever way I can. To God be all the glory!
First, we would have loved to come back as a family. We all really enjoy traveling together. It is always such an adventure for us! However, we couldn't. My brother got engaged last year and we knew the wedding was going to happen this year, and we just couldn't make a trip happen. In stepped my brother's fiancee. She offered, as a surprise gift to my brother for the wedding(which by the way, is no longer a surprise, it was a bit TOO BIG of surprise to keep secret), to pay for me to fly back for the wedding!!! I was beyond excited!! And how more perfect could it get that their wedding was going to be in Montana (they both live in Illinois) and just one week after MT family camp!! The timing is perfect!
Initially, i was just going to go back for three weeks. Just enough time to get adjusted to the time difference, enjoy family camp, and be able to be a help with all the preparations that needed to happen for the wedding. Then head back to Ghana.
But then...Steve and I got to talking. It has been rather difficult for Steve to find a job here. The current government does not look favorably on foreign workers and there are a lot of hoops one would have to jump through to get work here, and the companies hiring are not all that willing to go through the red tape in order to hire a foreign employee. He's looked into the mining field, the non-profit field, the development field...and nothing. He would have to do one of a couple of things. Go back to school and get a masters for the particular field he'd like to enter, or be willing to do volunteer work for a couple of years and then gradually move his way up the development ladder. Either of these would take a lot of money and relocating. Yet, his desire is to provide for us. So he started looking into stock market trading. He loves numbers. He gets all excited at these charts that he shows me. Trading like this does not take into consideration his age or past schooling, and he could get started in it right away. He's been looking into things since last November. Studying, researching, listening to podcasts and online videos have filled his free time. But now...he is looking at doing some actual trading, and well, honestly, that means some up front money that we don't have. This is where my working comes into play.
Would Steve prefer to go back to the U.S. and work an extra job to get the money? Yes. Is he at all delighted with the prospect of his wife working so that he can have the upfront lump sum that he'll need? No, he isn't. Let's look at things though. We won't have to come up with the funds for a ticket. That's been very generously being taken care of by my soon-to-be sister-in-law. I'm already going to be back there, I might as well take advantage of the opportunity. Here is how I look at it. I have an opportunity to show honor and respect to my husband by willingly working and making it possible for him to do the work that he desires to do so that he can provide for us, his family. He can't just go pick up a side job here. We don't have the funds to send him back and honestly if we all go back to the U.S. the living expenses would eat into the money we'd like to save and it would take longer.
In a nutshell, my working while being back this time is what needs to happen to move our family forward. This is about teamwork, and what each individual part can do for the advancement of the team. My individual part will, Lord-willing, be working this fall. So that Steve's individual part can be trading with it this winter. Both parts working for the team for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health till death do us part. I love and respect my husband for who he is and for what he desires to do. I'm willing to help him in whatever way I can. To God be all the glory!
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